Go and Hug Someone You Love....
Dear Pastors
Go and hug someone you love…..is how Hilary Barry finished Seven Sharp last week Wednesday night after an incredibly moving Tribute to Greg Boyed. You can see the 4 minute tribute here.
At one level it was a surprise to hear the word ‘hug’ on the State Broadcaster, yet at another level it was the perfect closer. Yes, go and hug someone you love. No, this is not some sentimental twaddle.
A ‘hug’ is about human warmth, of love, of care and support. We now know Greg was that kind of man. He was not only a gifted broadcaster, a consummate professional but a much loved Dad, husband and son. He had so much going for him yet as one of his TVNZ colleagues said, “it is so sad that Greg spent so much time in the dark yet lit up the world of so many people around him”.
Father’s Day is on Sunday. Many of us will no doubt preach a message on fatherhood or family or relationships or similar and that’s really important. Please do that. But pastor, did you know that at least 20% of the men (and for that matter 20% of the women and 20% of the teenagers) that will be seated in front of you will be experiencing ongoing psychological distress….at least 20%.....and quite a few of these guys will be on anti-depressants. As with Greg Boyed you will probably never know unless you know what to look for and the right questions to ask. So what can we as churches do that could help all people experiencing depression. Here are a few ideas ‘adapted’ from Amy Simpson’s most excellent book, ‘Troubled Minds-Mental Illness and the Church’s Mission’.
- First of all at least 20% of you my readers (yes….pastors) of this blog are suffering of depression or persistent psychological distress either diagnosed or undiagnosed. Please, please go and talk to a trusted friend, colleague or your GP. Talking really helps.
- Read at least one good book on the subject. Amy Simpson’s in my opinion is the best I have come across.
- Bring the subject out from the dark. Mental illness is a very real issue in EVERY church in NZ. Yesterday, at the church I was preaching at, I freely talked about it with care (meaning carefully chosen words) and compassion. Friends, we really must talk about this subject in church. Please don’t let this conversation only be in the media and or on the streets or worse still college playgrounds. You are well aware that as a nation we are NOT winning on this front. Yet as church communities there is so much we can do to minister in this ‘space’. In talking about it please be sure to do all you can to de-stigmatise this illness. Remember it is an illness NOT an evil spirit!
- Know at a moment’s notice who you can refer people to. Tricia Hendry has written us (LeadershipWorx) a few follow-up documents from our Mental Health and the Church Conference this year that are superb with heaps of information, a care plan, readings etc. Just ‘reply’ to this email and ask Karyn to send Tricia’s info to you. It’s a goldmine of information.
- Learn from others. Southwest Baptist Church In Christchurch (formerly Spreydon Baptist) have developed a very good ministry to folks who suffer from mental illness.
- Come to next year’s Mental Health and the Church Conference. A ‘mark this date’ announcement will be on our website in two weeks’ time.
- Decide to become a church where you are known to be the best in town in ‘bearing one another’s burdens’. Galatians 6:2
Happy Father’s Day AND Go and Hug Someone You Love,
Alan
Alan Vink is currently the Executive Director for LeadershipWorx. Prior to this role he has been the Executive Director of Willow Creek Association NZ (WillowNZ), a Baptist pastor (23 years), Bible College teacher, and church consultant.
