People Skills vs Technical Skills

Dear Pastors

It’s a well-recognised fact in middle and senior management circles that your people skills are more (some say far more) important than your technical skills. Just ask anyone who works for a very technically skilled person ( with qualifications as long as the alphabet) but that same individual lacks people skills. Usually the words used to describe that person get rather dark and the tone of voice very very quiet.

Translating this to pastoral ministry it goes like this. You might be a whizz kid at preaching, administration, vision, strategy and even leadership but if you are short on people skills (or relationship or social skills) it won’t be long and you are going to feel it and it will only be a matter of time and it will impact negatively on your leadership, guaranteed!

And here is the problem. NO one is bold enough to tell you….no one. If by chance someone has tried it probably didn’t go well, so no one will ever try that again. This is a particular problem in New Zealand. Not so in some other countries. Feed back is more forth coming and candid.

I have a view that Pastors and church leaders need to look closely at this. I’m not saying that we all have to be extroverts or social climbers but what I am saying is that your ability to be comfortable around people, all sorts of people is actually very important. Observing a few pastors over the years I am left wondering, “do they even like people”? Extreme I know but…….

Here are a few questions to consider:-

1. Do you exude natural warmth?
2. Can you easily ‘crack’ a funny and have a laugh? Humour is so disarming.
3. Can you remember names? Most everyone is able to learn at least 100 names if they try – (think school teachers).
4. Can you remember important information someone close to you shared? Again everyone can do that.
5. When someone is a bit in your face can you warmly respond in that moment without creating a scene or offending that person?

And finally, you might find these two points helpful.

• Choose face-to-face over digital communication. Perhaps the most critical “people” skill is how you present yourself in one-one-one or group conversations. Many Millennials would rather send a text than pick up the phone or walk down the hall. Excellent verbal and non-verbal communication abilities stand out. Much of business happens as people work together. It’s essential that you gain the ability to communicate clearly in ways that both engage others and engenders trust.
• Be interested, not interesting. Here’s one of life’s little ironies: we all love to talk about ourselves, but we don’t like those who do. If you want to impress and build relationships be interested in others. Ask questions, listen, and let them talk. People will love you for it. When you try to let people know how interesting you are or what you know, you shift the conversation from others to yourself. After listening, you’ll often be invited to share. At this point, the other person is open to what you’ve got to say.

So go for it Pastor. Become the best ‘connector’ and relationship guy or girl you possibly can.

Blessings

Alan

Alan Vink is currently the Executive Director for LeadershipWorx. Prior to this role he has been the Executive Director of Willow Creek Association NZ (WillowNZ), a Baptist pastor (23 years), Bible College teacher, and church consultant.