Your Girlfriend!

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Written by Alan Vink

Categories: Pastors Blog

Tags: Personal Life

Comments: 1

Dear Pastors

Later this year Jeanette and I will celebrate 40 years of marriage. We are planning a few things between now and then to celebrate, as you do.

When I look at our wedding photo’s I think, ‘help me George……what a hunk…………no wonder she couldn’t take her hands off me…….40 years…..4 sons in 4.5 years…….4 beautiful (in-law) daughters…..10 (nearly 11) grandchildren all under 8……..heck!.......what’s just happened? LOTS actually!

I have this theory. I reckon most of us blokes marry UP. I certainly did. Jeanette is truly a remarkable women. Devoted, patient, understanding and just generally very easy to live with. Additionally she is or has been a nurse, small business owner, spiritual director and pastor. And she walked The Camino at age 63 all by herself. Amazing! I’m incredibly blessed!

But it hasn’t all been plain sailing. Yip we too have had a few moments…….lots of ‘few moments’.

  • We’ve said hurtful things to each other.
  • We’ve taken each other for granted.
  • I have behaved badly (as in childishly) on occasion.
  • I didn’t say sorry often enough or quick enough.
  • Life between the sheets has ebbed and flowed throughout the years.
  • We’ve certainly miscommunicated at times.
  • Etc.

All that said, we are both absolutely convinced about this. Christian marriage as God intended it is an incredible gift to a man and a women. It really is a beautiful thing. So we never gave up and we determined from Year 1 to keep working on our relationship to make it the best it can be. And as I write we are still doing that. We have learnt that good marriages rarely just happen. They need time invested into them and a well-developed relationship skill set.

Pastor, what about your marriage? How’s it going? How is your passion for her/him? Do you talk appropriately in public about your marriage? Have you AND your spouse thought about running a marriage enrichment evening or a day or even weekend? We did on a number of occasions and people loved it.

In fact we had a hunch that what we modelled and how we interacted in public particularly at church on Sundays was a more powerful sermon than our words.

Yip, your marriage is worth investing in…..BIG time.



P.S. Jeanette and I own a Air BNB. Here is a link

If you would like a short 1 or 2 night get-away in Raglan in June, July or August then we can offer you our Raglan Bach for free or $50.00 per booking if you use our linen. Email Jeanette directly at or phone her on 021 265 3683. Don’t book on the Air BNB site.

Marijuana Briefing with Ben Cort. Coming To Auckland, Hamilton, Tauranga, Wellington and Christchurch. I have listened Ben’s TED Talk and found it very helpful. Factual and backed by good science. He’s coming to a venue near you for a two hour briefing. Worth your time and a few bucks. Info leaflet HERE.

Alan Vink is currently the Executive Director for LeadershipWorx. Prior to this role he has been the Executive Director of Willow Creek Association NZ (WillowNZ), a Baptist pastor (23 years), Bible College teacher, and church consultant.

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